I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
You need a sexual gate keeper
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
