quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Randomize
