shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize