Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
