Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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