drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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