dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
