So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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