Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
My liver just had a heart attack.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
