Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
3 2 1 whiskey
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
