if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I'm sobbing to NWA
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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