I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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