i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Randomize
