Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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