Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
...so i touched it.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize