i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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