yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
im holly from the hills drunk
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
