I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
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