She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
