We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
