he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
