Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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