you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
