its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
