your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
