morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
