there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
