He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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