Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize