called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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