she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
