Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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