You really coming over, don't trick.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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