oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
