Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
