i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
