so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
