This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
