I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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