Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
