his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
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