Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I just forgot I was standing up.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
