just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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