If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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