i just had sex bonerless
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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