Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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