I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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