**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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