Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
