she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
did you just send me my own nude
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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