At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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