i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
