I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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