I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
How external is "for external use only"?
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
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