He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
