So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
