In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
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