I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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