Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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