just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
