You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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