What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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