You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
