no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
