there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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